Sitting on a Bench

Sitting on a bench watching as life goes by

I see my friends growing up and moving out, 

Some of my family members actually trying to get there lives together

I see change , opportunities, and the life I want just passing right by me

Why am I sitting on this you might ask

Because I want things to happen to or for me

I dont want to go out and truely work for it I want it to just appear

I want happiness, joy , peace, love, family, freinds, a great relationship, job and life to all just appear before my eyes because that's what I'm watching

I'm watching things just pop up in peoples lives. I'm watching them chase after their dreams and get what they want and deserve

Yeah, some days I say, "Hey, I'm going to get off this bench and live my life and work for what I want."

I stand up and get my stuff  and something knocks me right off my feet and crawl back the bench and cry as watch my life pass me by

*It's just one of those moments/days! I honestly feel like this is what is happening to me. I cant seem to get a grasp on my life or even find the strength to get off the bench. I want things to just pop up like in the movies. Yeah, I know reality is a far cry from the movies but they make it seem so real like it could happen to you one day. You would wake up one morning and meet the perfect guy , have the perfect job, and ya'll may go thru somethings along the way but you always have your guy in the end.  I always said that I had a drive to be independent but I never really acted on it. I never was independent I always and still do lean on others to take care of me and to love me when I don't even take care of myself or love me most days.  Maybe I'm stuck on the bench because I don't have me together and  how can you enjoy life with worries and doubts. I just it is time for a real change and I do it right.