I have always been a creative soul. When I was little I would draw a little bit of everything. When I got older I began to write, I would write stories and poems. And before long I was reading all kinds of books that was what my life was consumed of all through middle school. Once I got to high school I slowed down and now in college I can barely read anything other than textbooks. :( But what I'm getting at is I have always had a love for the arts whether it be paintings, music, or writing. Art has allowed me to live in a fantasy world and imagine and create the life I wanted for myself. Which is what I did all my life. I imagined what I wanted and when it never came true I was hurt and never knew what exactly to do with that pain. So blamed my parents and I made myself feel like I was crazy for having dreams and wanting them to just happen. Which has been a serious downfall for me the last couple of years. I always imagined I would go to college meet a group of people and they would be my best friends for life <It didn't happen !>. I thought I would some gorgeous guy hanging off of my arm as my boyfriend and wanting to marry me <Still single!>. I have been living in a fantasy world for so long I don't know how to live in reality. I always feel like this is not how life is suppose to be but I'm probably doing better than peers and other around me. I don't live in reality. I live in the world in my head where I'm a BOSS!!! I am stunting on them hoes, I have confidence out this world and I'm doing what I love, which is creating stuff. It's harder to live in reality than a fantasy world but I have to or else I'm going to be sad and depressed forever because I will never think that anything is going right or that things are the way it should be.
I have come to this realization to night and plan to work on living in reality rather than my fantasy.
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