In Need of a Listening Ear

I have gone to hell and back within the last year it makes no sense. I have went against my morals, values, and havent kept my word to myself or the people around me. I have given up the one thing that I knew that I wanted out of life because someone else couldnt grow the fuck up!!! I have cried myself to sleep. I have been depressed, distracted and incapable of trusting or loving myself or others. I made a choice to not dwell on it all and move forward and when I start to move forward and be happy everybody and they damn mama wanna hit me up. Like why do people leave then want to come back thinking you just gonna run into there arms and forgive & forget the bullshit they put you thru. Im tired I just want to be happy and yeah it gets lonely but I know I will make it. I have to! I cant keep doing the same things and expecting different results. Yes, I'm crazy and a hopeless romantic but at some point I have to give up on the fairytales and look at life for what it truely is. BULLSHIT!!! There is no way some one can love you and hurt you all in the same conversation. If you loved me then you would do everything in your power to keep me happy and you would think about what is going on and what to say. Dont tell me you love me and say I was the rebound right after that. Dont lie to my face and think I'm not going to catch on. Dont expect me to tell you I love you and you continually fuck me over. At this point in my life I dont want to hear those three little words. I want to go without them because the people that tell me they love me dont. I try and give my all to every relationship and somehow I always get the short end of the stick. There is no point in me trying to find love or even wanting to be with anyone because people these days use those three little words to get what they want and leave or they use them just to have you stay in your corner and defend them while they go fuck up everything.

Love exist but it no longer lives with me. It no longer resides in the neighborhood or even around the corner. Love is on another planet fucking up other peoples lives not mine. To love I say farewell maybe one day someone will get it right til then I say goodbye!